FALL RETREAT

There is still time to register for the Fall Retreat. Spaces are going fast. Check out the webpage for details. Packing list will be posted today. Also, please fill out the online medical form and the release form.

Retreats are a great way for your young person to get to know other students from around the north side of Indianapolis. Retreats are a great way for your young person to get away and relax. Retreats are a great way for your young person to grow in their faith. SIGN YOUR YOUNG PERSON UP NOW!

PRICE INCREASES MONDAY, OCTOBER 31 to $100.

"But Mom, it IS a big deal!"

It's a small pimple on her forehead on a Friday morning.

It's a tiny stain on the front of his shirt discovered on the way to the school social.

We are only two minutes late for the football game.

I lingered a moment when I dropped her off in front of the school.

What is the big deal? Why do these seemingly small and inconsequential moments become flashpoints in our relationships with our pre-teen/teen?

The answer is in the title..."But Mom, it IS a big deal to me!"

You can't argue this with your child. It is a big deal to them. It doesn't matter how irrational it may seem. It doesn't matter how small the issue actually is, it is a big deal to them.

One of the most difficult things for me to remember about living with a teenager is how small their frame of reference truly is. It was only yesterday that my child was just that, a child. They seemingly had not a worry in the world. Now, as a pre-teen/teen, everything is a BIG DEAL!

Pre-teens and teens are trying on their wings of independence and doing the hard work of figuring out who in the world they are.  They have all of these confusing and confounding chemicals at work in their body that make them emotional and sometimes irrational. As parents, it is hard for us to understand how our child has changed so much in such a short amount of time. We must remember that it is even more difficult for our young person to understand the changes that are going on in their life and body. The truth is these things are indeed a big deal to them.

So, what is a parent to do? Listen. It is really hard work, but we must listen. There is a lot of anxiety in our young person's life. Yes, it is nothing like the anxiety that you and I face on a day to day basis, but that does not make it any less stressful. Remember, their frame of reference is indeed very short. Saying something like, "It will all be better in a few short months;" or "By the time you are 20, you won't even remember this" is like telling them that things will never change. A few short months when you have only lived 14 years is a LONG time. By the time you are 20 is something that they can't even begin to fathom. They aren't even sure they are going to make it to 20.

The most important thing that we can do is listen to their concerns and worries and let them know that we aren't going anywhere. Young people often feel as though they are facing the storms all alone. Remind your young person, by word and deed, that you will walk with them through any of the storms they will face. They need to be reminded that there are people committed to being there even when their life is confusing or disappointing, and even when they make a mess of things. We must be careful not to minimize the storm that they are currently facing, and we must be careful not to allow it to become a destructive hurricane. And we must remember that the storm will pass, no matter how fierce. We will face it together.

Believe It, Or Not

Believe It, Or Not is going to be a recurring item on this blog.  We invite you to take a look at the brief  article and then interact with the question by replying to the blog post.  It will be great to hear from one another about the joys and challenges of parenting adolescents.

BELIEVE IT, OR NOT...
Your teen is interested in what you think and what you believe. The problem is often the way in which we as parents package it.  If we spend more time talking than listening, we probably are not going to have a willing conversation partner.

What have you found to be the most effective ways to communicate with your adolescent? (Hit reply below, we would love to hear your best practices)

FALL RETREAT!!

Fall retreat registrations have begun!

It is our hope that your young person will join us on this wonderful weekend get away. This is a great way for them to get plugged in and get to know a group of students from the church who are their age.

The retreat is for ALL middle and high school students. However, there WILL be specific programming and activities for each age group.

We will meet at the church on Saturday, November 5 at 12:30PM to head to Camp PYOCA for a wonderful weekend of fun, friendship and growth. We will return to the church on Sunday, November 6 at 6:00PM.

Cost is $80 for the entire weekend (cost goes up on October 31 to $100; if you are a Footsteps of Faith participant, the cost is only $40). Sign up NOW online (click here). Spaces are going quickly. Scholarships are available.

Use this QR code or use the link above. 

Hope to see them on the retreat.

Tired and Busy

"Hey. Great to see you! How are you?" This is how I greet many of the students with whom I am privileged to work each week.

The top responses to this seemingly innocuous question are, "Tired" and "Busy."

Very rarely do I get a "Great" or even a simple "Good."

I know that some of this is just teens responding as teens typically respond. I am sure they are often thinking, "What can I say to get me out of this conversation as quickly as possible?"

However, having said that, I do find it incredibly interesting that the first thing that pops into a young person's head as a possible response is "Tired" or "Busy."

I think these responses tell us something. I think they tell us something about the lives of our young people, and how they are coping with those lives.

I have been in youth ministry for almost 25 years. I can tell you that it is indeed true that today's students are busier than any other group of young people I have known. Of course, I am not telling you anything new. You live with them.

I can also safely say that because of their "busy-ness," they are also the least rested of any of those groups. I am not talking about sleep (although, there are studies that show that they are not getting nearly enough sleep). I am talking about rest. Time when there is nothing to do but enjoy their surroundings, their friends, their family, their music...life.

Here is a radical thought. What if as a family you came up with a plan when everyone in the family took a break from all of the busy-ness on a regular basis, if only for one night a month? No one is allowed to plan anything for the 3rd Thursday of the month, the 2nd Saturday, or the 1st Friday. How crazy?! Experiment with it. Change it up. Decide as a family what day would work. Stick with the plan. Then...take a break, and breathe!

Take a Break

When was the last time everyone in your family was unplugged? 

Think about it.

When was the last time there were no cell phones, no computers, no television, no iPhones, iPads, and iPods in use by the people in your house?

It doesn't happen often, that is for sure.  

What if once a week, you called for a technology fast? This would mean that everyone in the family would be unplugged for a designated amount of time to do something together that requires no electronic devices at all. This is a tremendous challenge for all of us. I understand. We have all become accustomed to having something electronic at our side or in our hand at all times. 

My family recently went to an orchard to pick apples. It was wonderful. We leisurely strolled through the orchard. We took our time and picked our favorite apples direcly from the trees. It was a great break in a busy weekend. And has become a once a year adventure for us. It was a great way to unplug!

There are opportunities all around you. You don't have to go far. Walk through the neighborhood. Take advantage of the cool weather and fire up the grill. Shoot some hoops. Play a card game.

Your children will most likely balk at the suggestion of a technology fast (so will the parents), but if you do something fun together, the complaining will most likely subside (or at least decrease in intensity). 

Ready, set, unplug!