For All the Saints

Thursday, November 1 is traditionally known as All Saints Day in many Christian traditions in the west.  It is on this day that Christians remember and celebrate the lives of those who have gone before them.  This is an important day in many Christian communities around the world marked by services of worship and celebratory events.  This holy day gives people an opportunity to consider the lives and the faith of those who have had a historic impact on the world as well as those with whom they have been honored to have a personal relationship.  

Many young people today lack a sense of being rooted in the past.  In our world of hurry to the next big thing and scamper to the next wonderful idea, it is hard to give that which has gone before a second thought. There just isn't time.  This can increase the feeling of isolation and disconnect from anything that has meaning.  Being disconnected from the past can lead to discouragement about the present and disillusionment about the future. If the only thing that is important is right here and right now, then is what I am doing, discovering, desiring, becoming now worth anything at all?

All Saints Day is a great opportunity to help connect yourself and your teen to the past.  Take some time during the next couple of days to reflect on the lives of those who have gone before who have made an impact on your life.  

Why are these saints so important to you?  

What did they teach you?  

How has their life and witness helped to shape your own?

Encourage your teens to do the same.  Allow them to consider those who are living who serve as saints and examples to them.  Then, take some time to share with one another about the people who made your lists.

Possible family activity:

1 - Grab a stack of 3X5 note cards before dinner or breakfast.  

2 - Have each family member take a few.  

3 - On one side, have each person write the name of someone who fills the role of saint (living or dead) in their life.  

4 - On the opposite side of the card, make a list of words or phrases that flesh out the reasons why this person's life and faith are important to you.  

5 - Trade cards.

6 - Read the reasons out loud, followed by the name of the individual.

Have fun reading and learning about one another through the lives of these saints.

"For all the saints, who from their labors rest,

who thee by faith before the world confessed,

thy name, O Jesus, be forever blest.

Alleluia, Alleluia!" (Text: William W. How, 1823-1897; Music: Ralph Vaughan Williams, 1872-1958)

Speaking of Faith

One of the most important passages found in the Hebrew Scriptures (also called First or Old Testament) is a passage that is often referred to as the "shema".   It is called the "shema" because the first word of the passage in Hebrew is the word "shema". This word can be and is often translated "hear". 

This passage captures the heart of the Jewish faith, and it shapes much of their life together. 

In the New Revised Standard Version, Deuteronomy 6:4-9, a portion of the shema, reads,

"Hear, O Israel: The Lord is our God, the Lord alone. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your might. Keep these words that I am commanding you today in your heart. Recite them to your children and talk about them when you are at home and when you are away, when you lie down and when you rise. Bind them as a sign on your hand, fix them as an emblem on your forehead, and write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates."

We hear these words echoed in Jesus' response to the question "What is the greatest commandment?"  He replied, "'You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.' This is the greatest and first commandment. And a second is like it: 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets" (Matthew 22:37-40).

The shema was to shape how a family lived and how they spoke of the faith of their mothers and fathers: a faith that was to become their own.

Our Jewish brothers and sisters have always known something incredibly important. A faith that is to be passed on from one generation to the next is a faith that must be discussed.  It is a faith that must be lived together.  It is a faith that must be linked to the stories of the past so that it can be seen as a vital faith into the future.  It is a faith that must be not only the threshold of the house but also the hearth of the home.  

Take time to have faith conversations in your home. There is nothing more formative for the faith of our children than conversations and living examples of a vital faith.  Don' be afraid to speak of the things that are important to you. 
Why do you go to worship each week? 
Why do you give money to the church and other charitable organizations? 
Why are you committed to working with Christmas Benevolence every year? 
Why do you believe in God? 

Speaking of faith is one of the best ways to pass faith along.

Time Together

In this fragmented and frenetic world, one of the most difficult things for us to do is make time to spend together.  Yet, in this fragmented and frenetic world, there are few things that are as important.

My niece gave birth to her first child not long ago.  He is fantastic! He was approximately six weeks premature.  He spent the majority of the first two weeks of his life in an incubator.  In spite of the necessity of his time in this protective environment, the doctors and nurses worked very hard to get him to the point where he could spend moments out of the incubator each day for some good mommy and daddy time.  Mom and dad would sit in the rocking chair and hold their wonderful newborn child close to their chest so that he could know their rhythms, feel their heartbeat, and hear their soothing voices.  The doctors knew that there was nothing better for the health of this little one than to spend quality time close to his daddy and mommy. 

As children grow, it becomes more and more difficult to get quality time together.  They are busy.  We are busy.  They are growing in their need for autonomy.  However, research shows that even into their late teens there may be nothing better for the health of our children than time together.  

Recent findings show that even their dependence on social media and technology reflects their deep need for intimacy.  Andrew Zirschky recently blogged, "Recent ethnographic research reveals that young people’s voracious appetite for social media isn’t rooted in a love for all things digital, but in a nagging loneliness and a persistent human longing for deep belonging and connection.  After three years of research funded by the MacArthur Foundation, digital ethnographer Danah Boyd concluded that teenagers use social media to establish “full-time intimate communities” that provide for always-on communication and relationships. It appears that youth appropriate technology, not primarily for its entertainment value or cool factor, but because of its potential to foster “presence-in-absence”—the ability to be with friends despite physical separation" (read the entire blog post here).

Teens not only have a need for these intimate connections with their peers, but also with their parents.  

How can we reclaim those intimate moments with our teens who often act as though they are embarrassed to be seen in our presence?  It can be tricky.  However, it is more than worth the struggle.  

Here are some simple suggestions...

1 - Become a regular "texter".  Text short messages to your teen that you love them, believe in them, and think that they are outstanding.

2 - Look for small moments to be with one another.  If you are taking a quick trip to the store, have them ride along (unplugged).  If the dog needs to go for a walk, do it together.

3 - Remember the things that your teen enjoys the most. Find ways to encourage them in these pursuits: watch a game together, go to a musical.

4 - Find moments in the day when you can speak their name with tenderness.  Teens can often go through an entire day without hearing their name spoken without a demand, question, or interjection attached to it.

5 - Make pizza together, have a build your own taco night, surprise them with their favorite Subway sandwich.

This really isn't rocket science, but it does take commitment.  

You know your child the best.  Even though it may seem like they are getting further and further away from you, you still know them at their heart better than anyone else.  You have been with them through every moment of their life.  No one else can say that.  Have fun developing your relationship together.  It is changing, and that is a good thing.  However, your child still needs to know your rhythms, feel your heartbeat, and hear your comforting voice.